I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
cat food counts as protein by the way
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
