Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
