And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if only i could text you this smell
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
