He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
