We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
