I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
