I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
