The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's the barista slut.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
