You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
