After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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