let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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