We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize