Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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