sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
