Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
