Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
