I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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