standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
