I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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