bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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