I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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