I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
