Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
