ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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