ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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