how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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