this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize