sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
