what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
