And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
