...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
