Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
