I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
