i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
