I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
