Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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