Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
