I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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