8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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