i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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