physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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