So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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