this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
