I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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