I bet he comes in French.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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