and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize