Pappa wants mamma naked
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
