You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
