I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
