your parents love me but you hate me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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