i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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