So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize