Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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