Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
