it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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