I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
