I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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