I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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