I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
