she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
